Why Costco Is Basically My Therapist (and a Magical Discount Kingdom)
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There are few places on earth that can soothe my soul and destroy my budget in the same trip.
Costco is one of them.
Let’s talk about the magic that is The Warehouse.
You walk in needing toilet paper.
You walk out with 84 rolls, a new winter coat, a kayak, and a rotisserie chicken that might single-handedly heal your inner child.
🛒 It’s chaos. It’s comfort. It’s Costco.
There’s just something about pushing a cart the size of a Honda Civic through a maze of sample stations and bulk hummus that makes you feel like maybe everything’s going to be okay.
Where else can you buy a 6-month supply of vitamins, a 3-pound tub of guac, and a weighted blanket all in the same aisle?
Not Target.
Not Whole Foods.
Not your local sad, fluorescent grocery store with one working register and no hot dogs.
🧘♀️ It’s my form of self-care
Some people do yoga.
I go to Costco and make questionable financial decisions in the name of “saving money.”
Where else do you leave the store with 5 pounds of smoked salmon and think, “Honestly, I needed that”?
It’s not a shopping trip. It’s a journey of the soul.
It’s retail therapy… but with better lighting and a significantly larger receipt.
🧂The hot dog is $1.50. Need I say more?
Costco doesn’t care about inflation.
Costco cares about you.
The hot dog + drink combo is still $1.50.
Every time I eat one, I feel like I’m sticking it to late-stage capitalism.
🧥 Also, where else can you buy a snow shovel, a leather jacket, and a container of pretzels the size of a toddler?
Costco is where chaos and abundance meet.
It’s like a treasure hunt, but you have to dodge six people fighting over the last box of protein bars.
You go for one thing.
You leave with a new identity.
🧢 Which is why I made t-shirts about it
After one too many deeply healing (and unhinged) Costco visits, I decided it was time.
Costco needed merch.
And I was just unwell enough to make it happen.
Introducing a few favorites from my shop, Charlie Lane Collective:
👕 “Mentally at Costco”
Because sure, I’m physically here. But spiritually, I’m sampling chicken sausage next to a woman named Sharon who’s buying paper towels like the apocalypse is tomorrow.
👕 “Here for the Hot Dogs”
I said what I said.
👕 “Costco Is My Love Language”
Because it is. And if it’s not yours, I wish you peace on your journey.
Each shirt is:
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Soft enough to cry in
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Sarcastic enough to feel like therapy
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Ethically printed and bulk-emotion approved
If you’ve ever blacked out in the snack aisle and come to with 96 granola bars and a weird sense of hope, you’re my people.
Come celebrate the warehouse that heals us all.
💬 [Tell me your weirdest Costco purchase]
👕 [Buy the shirt. Wear it to Costco. Complete the circle.]